onsdag 6. mai 2009

Den ultimate filmquizhuskelista

En særdeles sarkastisk-lakonisk blogger har posta ei side med tidenes enlinjersoppsummeringer av kjente filmer: Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Noen favoritter fra lista:

  • 300: Gays kill blacks.
  • NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR: Authorities contain terrorist threat.
  • ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
  • BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
  • CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
  • CITIZEN KANE: Male reporter takes days to find woman’s clitoris.
  • DEEP THROAT: Medical anomaly earns woman new friends.
  • DER UNTERGANG: Man dreams of uniting world but has dreams crushed by Communists.
  • DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
  • FORREST GUMP: Man with learning disability fails to appreciate the significance of current events.
  • FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.
  • GANDHI: Vegetarian begins cycle of repeated clashes with authorities after being thrown off train.
  • GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries.
  • GLADIATOR: Convicted army general escapes execution, kills emperor.
  • KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
  • LORD OF THE RINGS: Ex-burglar’s family and friends go on roadtrip to destroy stolen jewellery rather than return it to rightful owner.
  • MEMENTO: Things remembering trouble has man.
  • PULP FICTION: Mother-fucking criminals stealing from other mother-fucking criminals really pisses Samuel L. Jackson off.
  • RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
  • ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
  • ROCKY black man beats white man.
  • ROCKY II White man beats black man
  • SCHINDLER’S LIST: Wealthy industrialist expands not-for-profit ventures.
  • THE SIXTH SENSE: Oh, I’m Dead.
  • SERENDIPITY: Fate destroys two happy relationships to create one.
  • SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.
  • TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.
  • THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
  • TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.

Ingen kommentarer:

Legg inn en kommentar